Pause
I know this might make me a terrible blogger, but as a bride, I think I will scream if I get any more visual wedding input right now. The search for venues has been a little exhausting, and I think I was starting to lose sight of what it's all about, so instead of making an inspiration board for you today, my honey and I finally sat down to write our wedding manifesto. Well, that's what I call it. Meg from A Practical Wedding calls it a wedding mission statement which maybe sounds a little less scary. Call it what you will, but if you haven't already written one, and you're starting to lose your mind with wedding planning, then I think it's a really good exercise, as well as something to return to whenever the color-of-your-napkins part starts to seem more important than the marrying-your-best-friend part.
I know that you come here for daily wedding inspiration in the form of inspiration boards and real weddings, so I hope that you'll forgive my little rant. The fun and pretty stuff will be back tomorrow!
I know that you come here for daily wedding inspiration in the form of inspiration boards and real weddings, so I hope that you'll forgive my little rant. The fun and pretty stuff will be back tomorrow!
posted by Kathryn at
5:30 AM
32 Comments:
Well as someone who is getting married soon too I just want to say this doesn't make you a terrible blogger at all!! I have to keep the focus myself and this was a great reminder!!! :)
Good job! While I'm sad not to find the usual treasures today, I'm overjoyed to hear that its because your focusing on your own needs and your own wedding... after all, you've kept us so inspired all this time!
Anyway, it gives us all an excuse to revisit our favorite past entries (and there are SO many!)
Good luck with your planning. You should know that all your regular readers will be wishing you all their best wishes towards your big day!
You've given us all so much through your blog, if we can help at all and return that gift - you only need to ask... even if its just some patience, understanding, and a leave pass! ;)
-Gemma
Good for you! It's totally healthy to pause from it all... I'm sure the combo of keeping up a wedding blog and planning your own wedding can seem like wedding overload! Take some time off now and then, you aren't going to lose any readers in the process :)
thanks for sharing! this is definitely a great message! I especially like the part about how you cant let it get to the point w where the color of your napkins becomes more important than the marrying your best friend part. That is definitely not what its about! It's so important to remember this :)
Oh, no worries! Even the most gung-ho bride gets overwhelmed and needs a break every now and again!
I could not agree more! Take your time...your faithful followers shall be here when your ready.
This makes you PERFECT (and totally normal)! It is good to know that we all go through these phases and it is great that you know that you need to take a break and think about what is really important to you and your future hubby.
We will all be here through out all of it. And if it helps, I for sure wouldn't mind reading about your wedding journey in addition to the wonderful inspiration that you provide.
So write what makes you happy. We will be here.
GOOD LUCK!
I know I'm a few days late, but I wanted to add my support and encouragement. I think it is SO GREAT that you and your fiance are taking time to pause, breath, and remember what all of this is about-- the two of you and the love you share!
Blessings to both of you!!
Suzanne
Good for you for not wanting to lose sight of what the day is really about. And I'm with you on it being exhausting to search for fresh ideas, images and inspiration on a daily basis!
Finding the venue was the most difficult part for me too. I was crying and stressed and my fiance and I were on edge and we felt the same way. I told my maid of honor about it at the time and she said she went through the same thing. so you aren't alone! It gets sooo much better once you find a venue. Until it gets really close and family members start assuming they have "plus ones" when they don't and plan to bring their 6 month old when you aren't having kids at your wedding :) That's where I am now. You'll find a venue, and then everything will fall into place! Good luck.
The bay area venue search made me want to stab out my eyes, Kathryn, for real. The fact is that $2K or $3K is BUDGET here, and that's enough to push anyone over the edge. I found "budget" venues that were going to cost me $4K just for the ROOM. No tables, no chairs, nothing. Head slams on desk. So you're doing just fine. If you need to talk it out or write it out, I think we'd welcome some of those posts too.
Funny that we both mentioned wedding mission statements the same day.
xoxoxo
((()))
Yes! I just had this moment last week (4 months till the big day) after nitpicking my MOH choice of black dress. It wasn't the black dress I envisioned for her, even though I said pick what you want. It took a good reminding from my fiance that I am focusing way too much energy on superficial details.
I think it important to step back & take inventory of who you still are as a couple, outside of the wedding craziness. Thanks for reminding us all.
I'm with Meg - feel free to write out your frustrations. I'm sure you have tons of sympathetic ears (or eyes, I suppose) that can totally relate.
I'm all for the Wedding Manifesto! It's so crucial to put down on paper what truly matters to you and your honey. From now on, when you have moments of feeling overwhelmed (and oh boy will you), the manifesto is something you can always return to, reminding you what really matters to the two of you as a couple. After all, this is a celebration of your love. It shouldn't be so stressful that you lose sight of the beauty and joy of this time in your life. Enjoy it. Revel in each wonderful moment.
I'm getting married, too, and I've been a little shocked and amazed at how quickly and how easily I've started straying from my vision. The venue search had me getting up in the middle of the night and pacing, trying to figure out how we could make it all work. This ended up with at least two 11th hour calls to the venue to have the contract rewritten — enough to drive a person crazy.
But at the end of the day, as long as you and your man are there and happy, it will be a perfect day.
And now I'm going to write that down so I remember it, too.
I'm so glad you took a break from posting. It's almost impossible to not be overloaded by life in general sometimes, and wedding planning is even more visually and emotionally overwhelming! Enjoy the reflection process :)
Kathryn, thank you for posting this. I just got engaged yesterday--eee! and I want to try and keep myself grounded as much as possible. Thanks for posting this :)
You should take some time out with your honey... manifesto or no!
(How about a little "nothing wedding related at all?")
But when you're back in the mood, I was going to ask if you wanted to submit one (or up to 3) of your favorite Inspiration boards to our newest contest.
or not. no stres...
Every morning, for the past few months I have been visiting your blog. My wedding is in less than a month. Some days I get over whelmed with all the fantastic images you post...but I want to say thank you for helping me find my vision and stay focused on what the day is really all about. When all the planning gets to be too much my fiance and I drop everything and go on an adventure, seek out an ice cream shop we haven't been to, or the beach for a walk. So take a break, we get to have a sleep over with our best friend for the rest of our lives! Lots of love - Helen
this is a good time to call on your community (of this blog) to submit inspiration boards. You can't do everything yourself, and you will drive yourself crazy if everything is wedding all the time. Make sure to take time for you, and for you two, and do unrelated wedding stuff...that means refraining from talking about it. Don't forget to keep dating each other through this and after. It's really about your love and commitment to each other, not the disney/wedding industry "perfect day" we are spoon fed since birth. It will be perfect b/c you are marrying the man of your dreams, your best friend, your true companion. I hope that helped. Best of everything!
Daniella
P.S. Your blog was a total inspiration for our wedding and I will have pictures to share of a wonderful and unforgettable backyard wedding.
I really understand where you are coming from today. My honey and I start wedding planning and it suddenly got out of control ( Listen to people outside opinion). So we are hitting the reset button on our wedding plan and doing the thing that we like in our budget
Thank you for being human! :)
I took about a one month hiatus from all things wedding, and it allowed me to come back refreshed, recharged and reassess what was really important in planning our big day.
The Wedding Mission Statement/Manifesto sounds like a great idea to help remember what's important!
all i have to say is THANK YOU and amen sista. i've also been oversaturated with wedding imagery lately - yesterday i actually chose NOT to watch a TV show about amazing wedding locations, because i felt like it was about to make something in me snap! a wedding manifesto is a great idea - something the FH and i have done informally, but i like the idea of writing it down, so that we have something tangible to go back to whenever we (and by we i mean I) get carried away or overwhelemed by other people's expectations.
sorry about the rambling comment :)
and thank you again! i thought i was refreshing!
Thank you for posting this dose of reality. As much fun as I have with all of the wedding style stuff (and your blog is always a treat- more refreshing than almost any other wedding blog), I am sick to death of weddings right now!) Need a break and I am not even engaged:)!
We've had this moment so many times, it's hillarious! We're quite happy grouping together to remind ourselves what's important because we're looking at soooo many stuff! It's an important process so good luck with it all!
Don't worry about it! You're wedding is an important day and you should take time to figure things out. Don't worry about your reades... we all understand if there is not a post once and a while. Love your blog!
Good for you! We wrote down our priorities, planned the entire thing within our budget (that we wrote down) and THEN we told everyone we were engaged. My mother still hasn't forgiven me b/c SHE wanted to plan the wedding, but the bottom line is that we're getting to focus on what is important to us, and we're not breaking the bank. We actually wrote our priorities on our wedding site -- and have gotten really positive responses. So much less stress, it's fabulous.
The process really can be enjoyable!
I just had that moment when I had looked at over a hundred different designs and letterings for mere response cards! I wondered, what was I doing to nurture the relationship when I was spending so many days and hours agonizing whether letterpress was worth the additional cost and where could I get it cheaper? I stopped my search and took a breath out. I was getting too much into the nitty gritty of the planning. Yeah, let's take a pause. :)
I have been fortunate enough to plan my wedding in "batches". Due to my studies it's been impossible to do something every week, so there have been around three more intense periods of organization so far - and I am grateful! I never was into the "pink fluff" and for me it's about having a blast without going completely bankrupt in the process, so even if I wish we had a bigger budget I'm a bit relieved at the same time...
A hiatus is not a bad idea at all and I'm sure, based on the flood of responses so far, your readers will understand fully what you are going through right now. Thank you for all the inspiration you have given us so far and good luck with taking care of yourself for a while!
i totally understand...though i love your boards, i am thrilled to hear you are taking care of yourself.pauses are good, and i have taken my own when it all just seems a little crazy.
my favorite line that i have read about weddings is to remember it's not a competition. but my own personal mantra when things get crazy is..it's just a party...
thanks for reminding us what's important*
Your own wedding is so different than making visually pleasing Inspiration Boards. Boards do not have: a budget, bridesmaids, expectations, relatives, burgeoning guest lists, ever expanding to-do lists, etc. You have every right to be totally overwhelmed. Even if you are as cool as a cucumber weddings bring out so many emotions, hopes and expectations from every person involved. You are bound to run into all kinds of drama. The key is to handle these issues with grace...and humor:)
May God bless you Kathryn!
I'm with you darling! I got so crazy about wedding planning that I completely lost sight at times, and turned into the bride I had hoped NOT to be! The mission statement thing actually worked for me. I drew up objectives and plans of how to be more inclusive of my significant other and take his perceptions into account.
At this point, we are three weeks away from our wedding. I had gotten so wrapped up in planning that I forgot about my own birthday. My fiance brought home 26 roses and I kept saying, "Why 26?" Awful, right!? The greatest thing we did was have a date night and make a promise NOT to talk about wedding stuff. It's probably the greatest salvation you can have, and honestly, it helps you remember that you are still a person aside from being a bride, wedding planner, future wife, etc :) Remember yourself and your significant other!
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